Paranoid?

I'll admit it. When it comes to fear and paranoia I'm the biggest weakling I know. I don't even like to answer the door when I'm alone, because of a bad experience I had a couple of years ago when we lived in the valley.

When Jaron goes out of town I say lots of prayers, sing lots of hymns, comandeer a child or two to fill the vacancy in the bed, and have a really hard time falling asleep.  I avoid the news at all costs when Jaron's gone. When he is home everything is fine and safe, but when he leaves, the house comes alive with all sorts of creepy shadows and goulish sounds. Needless to say, it may or may not be true that someone in this household that is more than two feet tall has been known to let out a scream in the night at the sound of the ice machine in the freezer downstairs.

Then there was this one time, a few years ago when Jaron and I were watching a movie together, our date night at home, and this helicopter kept flying over our house lighting up our backyard. I didn't really think twice about it, other than that I was annoyed that they were being so loud when we were trying to watch a really good movie. Every ten minutes or so they would loop back around and our whole back yard would light up. It wasn't until about thirty minutes had passed when I realized that Jaron was not by my side any longer. I hadn't even noticed him leave. I walked up our unlit staircase, only to find darkness coming from every room upstairs. Where had he gone? Did he go to bed without saying goodnight? I walked in our room and like the sensitive woman I am, flipped the light switch on. I was immediatly scolded "Turn off the lights!" he whisper-yelled. "What on earth are you doing?" I said. He was crouched behind the blinds, a few of them pried open with delicacy and was peering out towards our yard. I started to laugh, because I thought he was joking, but my laughter was not echoed.  Well, I guess I'll play along I thought. I crept over to him to crouch by his side and find my own hole to peer out of. I was kind of excited.  After a few minutes of staring at an empty, dark, backyard, I decided to stand up and take a break. I felt my way in the dark to the side of our bed and leaned back into a sitting position.  I leaned back, only to find myself leaning ontop of a cold, medal barrell. I felt around a little longer only to realize it was a 12 gage shot gun lying on the bed. "What on earth!" I whisper yelled "do you think you are doing with this thing out?" "I'm prepared to protect my family if there is an intruder" was his serious reply.  I finally realized this was no joke. Jaron was ligitimatly concerned that there was indeed someone out there being searched for. The joke was over, now I was scared, because Jaron never gets scared. Ever.

I decided to call 911, not an emergency call, but just to find out who smokey was after. Turns out some guy was on the run in our neighborhood, but they couldn't tell us what his crime was. Nice. Leave that up to our beautiful imaginations.

Well, it made for a good story to tell at parties, but in the end, the truth is I felt a little uneasy thereafter that event. Since the helecopter event, there has been an attempted burglery to the nieghbor three doors down from us, and similar search helicopters out over our neighborhood. There have also been nights where I have sworn I heard a gun shot. I have jumped up and said "Jaron that was a gun shot!" and he inevitably always gives the same, sweet, and reassuring answer "No love, that was just a firework somebody is setting off. Don't worry your safe. Go to sleep. " I'll never know if they were in fact gun shots or not, but when I heard the shots twice in a row a few nights ago, this time I just didn't buy that it was a firework. Who on earth would be lighting off fireworks at 7:00 at night in the pouring, freezing rain? No one that's who. I still went to sleep just fine that night, but a few days later there was a knock on my door and this is the letter that was hanging on my door knob:

"Fellow Neighbors,

This note is to keep you informed of seriously unsafe activity occuring in our neighborhood. For a few years now there have been cars loitering in the area of S.E. place between the wooded area of our Green space. The cars involved have been seen at all times of the day and night. Drug paraphernalia has been found in the area where these cars and their occupants are seen and it is assumed that drug use and dealing is occuring.

Now the illegal activity has escalated. On the evenings of December 2nd, 4th, an 8th guns have been fired in our nieghborhood. On each occasion, the Kent police found 4 to 6 spent 12 gauge shotgun shells.  Each shooting has occurered between 6:30p.m. and 7:30p.m. The shooting has occurred from the road near the ___ and also alongsied homes. The shots appear to be aimed West and North into the woods. A charcoal greay 4-door Hyundai Sonata with two adult male occupants is associated with each incident.

Kent Police are aware of the activity. If you see any suspicious activity or cars parked near the nature reserve (especially a charcoal gray Hyundai) please immediately call 911."

The house they are talking about is a house we have walked passed many times, and it has always given me a weird feeling. I always feel like we just need to move right along past the house and then continue our happy pace once we are past it.

Last night I had a dream a guy broke into our house and I was trying to fight him off. It wasn't scary, because luckily I was getting the best of him, but then yesterday when someone rang my doorbell at7:00 p.m. at night and pounded on the door immediatly after you bet I didn't answer it. So, a note to my friends. Just text me before you come over, because well I may or may not be just a little paranoid.

Sweet dreams.