Sleeping Giant trail

 I step out of the car onto the dusty, rocky road.  I see the dark highway behind me, tall flat trees, and tiny ants crawling quickly around we start our way up the trail.  It is a little steep and is very rocky and rooty.  I spot big, reddish-gray boulders; smooth strawberry-guava trees, and awesome spotted monarch ferns.  At the top I could see the entire east side of the island and the mountains were drenched in rain.  Big clouds were pouring down on them.  We listened to Josh's favorite song for the day that he passed away.  On the way down I carried Nora in the ergo.  It started to rain, then it poured.  Nora loved it.  She gathered the drops on her short, stubby, tongue.  It was a little slippery going down.  I loved this hike just as much as Mount Saint Helens. 

  

Lumahai Beach by Warner

 

       I step on to the beach and look around there is beautiful blueish clear water whiteish greenish sand and jet black lava rocks. Right away I run to the steep slopes that drive into the water. I grab a boogie board right away and and slide down the slope with Buster, Ren, and Ozzy. We take turns sliding down the slope into the big crashing wave sometimes the wave would crash right on top of my head. After getting totally beaten by the waves I grab my mask and snorkel and swim with Dad Mom and Pepper. I saw a fish that swam sideways and had both its eyes on one side. I also saw the bright colored Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. Then I played a fun survival game with Ren and eventually Ozzy and Buster. We went on a walk. It was me, Arche, While, Zhepher, Ren, Ozzy, and Buster. We saw deep holes in the rocks, trenches that the waves crashed into, glassy sand, and a truck that got stuck in the sand. This beach was awesome.

            

Welcome Nora Marie Brown

 

Nora Marie Brown was born on August 15, 2020 at 4:56pm. Her weight was 9lbs 10.5oz Head 37cm, Chest 36 cm, length 21inches and no stitches needed. 

This is her birth story. The week before Nora was born Jaron put our three oldest kids on a plane to Utah to go to Lake Powell with the my parents and some of their Hoopes cousins. We knew it was very possible that the baby could be born while they were gone, but they decided to go and create memories with their cousins since they will get to see Nora for the rest of their life.  I kept Ruby behind, and when she felt a little sad at first, I promised her that she could have a play date every single day with a friend and then she was excited to stay.  

Earlier in my pregnancy I had had a 10 week ultra sound where I had been given the due date of August 18th, but at my 20 week ultra sound the baby was measuring so big that the radiologist said "Well, either you are going to have a 10 lb baby or your dates are off".  He wanted to change my due date to August 7th.  My midwife did not like that idea, and insisted it was still a due date of August 18th. Mentally I just cleared space for the possibility that I would have the baby sometime in between the 7th and the 18th, all the while fully believing that I still might have a ten pound baby, because I felt so big! 

A few days before Nora was born I had a full night of regular contractions that turned out to amount to nothing, so on the day she was born I still thought I might be having false labor. I'm getting ahead of myself though. The weekend Nora was born we were supposed to have a huge heat wave, and I did not want to be pregnant through it! So on the day she was born I woke up and thought to myself "Today would be a good day to have a baby". We decided to pull out all the stops to get things moving. We looked up some acupressure techniques and Jaron pushed all the buttons it told him to. Afterwards we went walking on the soos creek trail. After that we walked some more at home depot picking up things for our bathroom floor project. I started to feel really crummy when things took longer then expected at home depot and decided to finally just go put my feet up and wait in the van while Jaron gathered the supplies he needed.

We got home from home depot around 2:00 and Jaron immediately realized he had bought the wrong saw blade and had to go back to home depot, isn't that the nature of home projects?! Haha. Ruby decided to go with him, and I had big plans to deep clean my bathrooms while he was gone. It was the last thing on my to-list before I had this baby. But I was feeling pretty crummy and tired and just wanted to lay down and put my feet up, so put my feet up I did, and I began watching natural birth videos to get me in the right mind set. I swear as soon as I laid down, the contractions started coming.  They were coming pretty much every five minutes and were hard enough to notice, but again, I thought I had already been here a few nights ago and it had gone no where so I wasn't going to cry wolf until the wolf was there.  Jaron got home around 3:00 and joined me with Ruby as we watched one last natural positive birth video.  As we were watching I casually mentioned to him that I had been having contractions regularly for an hour and thought this might be the day that I have the baby. I had originally invited Ruby to come to the birth, and she had said she wanted to come, but then looked at me and said "Wait, will you be naked?!" When I answered affirmative to her question she had then decided she didn't want to come. After watching this birth video however and being some what more aquainted with birth, I strongly suggested she should come with us, and was able to convince her.  I told Jaron that I was feeling these contractions more strongly now, and would he help Ruby pack a little bag and come check on me in the bath in a little while. It was the first time he realized that this really was it, and he seemed really excited and said "Ok then. Yes. Lets do this!".  As I stood up a really hard contraction hit that bent me over in pain.  I really wanted to get in a soothing bath, because things were starting to hurt.  As I filled the bath up, I thought I better call the midwife and let her know things were moving and I would probably be in sooner rather then later. During the phone call I had few contractions that made me stop talking for a minute.  The midwife didn't seem rushed with me coming in so I said I would just be in touch. As I hung up the phone and looked at the bath, the thought hit me that if I got in there I would not be getting back out until the baby was born, and I had the strongest feeling to call her immediately back and tell her I was coming right in.  I made the phone call. "Chris- I think I better just come in". "Ok- I'll meet you there in 25 minutes".  

Immediately after hanging up the phone I felt like I had to go to the bathroom and my water broke in the toilet.  Things started moving quickly after that. I threw on some basketball shorts and a sports bra and t-shirt, stuck a towel in between my legs and went to the top of the stairs and yelled down to Jaron that it was time to go.  He had no idea at all the happenings upstairs and was expecting a few more hours at least. This news shocked him greatly and caused him to run a circle around the inside of our house and not actually accomplish anything.  This was hilarious later as we thought about it. I told him to just get in the car.  Ruby jumped in the car and we were off for an uncomfortable car ride, where every bump had me squirming in pain.  Jaron called the midwife on the way and let her know my water had broke and could she have the tub ready.  

Upon arrival I walked in to the birth sweet, said hi quickly, went pee, and stripped as fast as I could to get in the tub.  The midwife was talking to me quite casually, and I was having contractions that were making me breathe real deep and wince.  I arrived at the birth center at 4:28pm and at about 4:50 I said to everyone's surprise "She's coming!" I then got on all fours and the midwife said said ok I'm coming. She was wearing white shorts and a blue blouse, and had intended on changing after gathering my information, but their was no time.  Nora's head came out like a wrecking ball, it hurt like crazy. That ring of fire talk is real business. I cried/screamed. The midwife told me to wait until the next contraction to push her body and it took everything in me to wait, but wait I did, and then come sweet Nora did.  I felt relief immediately after pushing her out and the first thing I said was "You know, that was doable". Chris, my midwife told me to reach down and grab my baby, and when I did the bath started to fill with blood. The chord had broken.  This wasn't a danger, because the midwife quickly clamped the chord and the baby was just fine, but I realize now, that if I had waited any longer to go into the birth center, and had the baby in my own tub, that I wouldn't have even known what to do if the chord had broken and it could have been a very scary situation.  Looking back now I realize for sure that feeling to call the midwife back and tell her I was coming in was definitely a prompting from the Lord, and I'm so grateful for it.  

Sweet Nora was here. I looked up at Jaron. He told me I was amazing and kissed me. I looked for Ruby and she was nowhere. I said "Where's Ruby?" He said "Ruby, come here". Ruby came and looked at the baby, who was sputtering and trying to breathe for the first time.  They got the baby out of the tub, and the next step was to get me out, but when I went to stand I immediately got light headed and sort of fell back down and rested my head on the edge of the tub.  The midwife wanted to get me out of the tub, because the tub water was growing a dark red.  I had apparently lost some blood which is why I was feeling light headed. The midwives got me out of the tub and onto the floor on a bed of towels. They took my blood pressure and it was low. Really low.  They had me drink water and eat some sugar and checked again and it had dropped again so they got an IV with some fluids in me and it immediately worked to bring my blood pressure up.  I was so ready to be done with any pain and just lay in that big king sized bed at the birth center with my baby.  I was able to stand up without fainting but felt a bit nauseous still.  

I went to the bed where Jaron and Ruby were doting on baby Nora.  How sweet she was. The next few hours went by in a blur of heaven.  Their was such a peaceful feeling in the birth center. It felt like sacred ground.  I thanked the midwives for the peace I felt, and for the kindness they showed me.  They were so relaxed and hushed with their voices. They let us have our time together as a family and came over to check on me and send us on our way to rest in my own bed at home.  We got chipotle on the way home and I felt so tired.  On the car ride home I asked Ruby what she thought of being their and if she was glad she came. She said she was, but she said "Mom, you know I cried?" I said "No I didn't know you cried Ruby, when did you cry, and was it a happy cry, or a scared cry, or a sad cry"? She said "It was a scared cry, because you were crying, and that made me scared". I realized now, that was why I couldn't see her right after Nora was born, she had walked away and must have been crying.  Poor girl, but she was prepared and knew this was part of the process.  

I'm so grateful. Full of love, and in awe at God and all his goodness. The human body is so amazing! It really feels like a privilege to get to be a part of a birth and delivery, almost an out of body experience where you get to witness what the human body is capable of and made to do. So from start to finish this labor lasted about 3 hours, which is pretty stinking ideal. 

The next four days with just Jaron, Ruby, Nora and felt like the celestial kingdom. Time seemed to stand still. Literally. This baby just feels so sweet and special, and I feel so happy to have her here with our family. Nora Marie Brown. Marie is after Grandmother Lola. That was her middle name.  So she is named after a special lady.  Nora is just a name we think is beautiful, just like this beautiful soul that God has blessed us with.   

Just a Journal Entry

Holy shmoly it's been a minute since I've written on here. You know what keeps me from writing? The fact that I'm so behind, but it doesn't matter, I decided I just start where I start and that is good enough. Also, I want to journal more. I find it therapeutic, and this is a great place to start, typing, because I hate hand writing stuff. 

So, here is where I am at; I am 36 weeks pregnant and change. My feet swell up like sausages by the end of the day, and if I sit longer then 10  minutes my back really starts to hurt. Pregnancy is not for the faint of heart I tell you, but every time I feel this little girl move inside me, I feel grateful and all my pains seem to scream "It will all be worth it".  

We just got back from a trip to Utah. My parents got home a little earlier then expected in March from their mission to Chicago, and I had been waiting for an opening in the quarantine (look up COVID-19 quarantine) to go and see them. I was so happy, because Kelly drove out from Utah and met us there. It was so good to be with her. There is nothing like sister time. 

Now, it's time to get ready for this baby to come! I have felt so low energy, but by some miracle from heaven had a boost of energy today and here's what I accomplished: read my scriptures, said a meaningful prayer, made phone calls to schedule a test for Olivia (who may have come back from Utah with COVID), made monkey bread for breakfast, read a book with Ruby, deep cleaned the two upstairs bathrooms, went to a chiropractic appointment (she straightened out my lopsided hip), played pickle ball with Ruby, folded a load of laundry, organized all of the shoes in the whole house and weeded out all the one's that are too small for the kids, vacuumed off the shelves in the garage, vacuumed out the laundry room, washed another load of laundry, worked out a problem with Liv's online school by talking through it with someone on the phone, showered and put on make-up (added bonus), watered the plants, and plucked all the dead leaves off of my tomato plants, made a ministering phone call, washed the outside of the car with the kids, helped my sister decide which home school books to buy for her son, made dinner, and cleaned up all the dishes, including the hand washing, and got Ruby in the shower.  Whew. It feels good to look at that list, and also realize why my feet are hurting so bad. I'm about 185lbs, the biggest I have ever been in my life! This pregnancy has been really rough.  I was super sick at the beginning so my working out went right out the window.  My plan now is to watch a chick flick with Liv, because she is feeling lonely lately.  Maybe I'll take it a little easier tomorrow. 

Now, I just want to write about my marriage for a little minute. I think I need to invest more in it. I feel like with the new age of smart phone's, our quality time together and affection has gone down hill. I don't quite know how to fix it, but I want to. It seems every night and morning we are on our phones, and mornings and nights are when we used to have meaningful couple time.  I have such a love/hate for the smart phone. I really believe the quality of life and connection went out the window with smart phones and social media.  We are all a victim to it, and have to intentionally choose not to be slaves to it.   

Until next time, which hopefully isn't in four years, goodnight.   P.S. Here's me right now

Quarantined

We are quarantined for a historic pandemic: Corona Virus Outbreak. I haven't blogged in about oh, a million years, so why not start back up when I'm stuck in the house? The sun came out, so I had the idea to give the kids cameras and let them take pictures of things they thought were beautiful and come home and make a collage out of their creations.  Here are a few of my favorite pictures that they took: (I love their selfies)

 

 

 

 

A Brave Moment from a Scared Little Boy

This picture was not taken the day the event in this blog took place, but it captures the image that happened that night. 

The other day Jaron and I were sitting downstairs after a long, full day of family life and work and child rearing, just you know, relaxing and chatting and processing our day together, when I heard a gentle whimper from the top of the stairs. I couldn't quite recognize the voice, because it was so soft, but it was definitely calling my name softly and in a sad tone of voice. For some reason I knew immediately this was not a usual act of procrastinate bed time trickery. No, this was something I needed to check on. As I stood up to go see who the damsel in distress was, I heard Warner's voice say "Mom I'm really scared and I just don't want to sleep in my room. It's just so dark in there" and then, he began to cry. 

Now, I will be honest. This is not the first time a child has gotten out of bed in claims their room was too dark, but this is the first time that I actually felt like I should take it seriously. Usually a simple hall or bathroom light turned on is enough of a compromise to shew them swiftly back to bed, but this time I feared there was some reality behind his angst. 

So, I walked to the top of the stairs where I found Warner, blanket wrapped up and over his head crying, and scooped him in my arms and carried him down stairs. He's getting big now, but for a seven year old he's still a light weight, so thankfully I can still sometimes pretend like he's my baby again and cuddle him up.  I brought him down to where Jaron was sitting and held him in my lap with his blanket still wrapped securely up and around his face and back.  He was crying and rubbing his eyes and kept saying it was just so dark and he was scared. When I first asked him what he was afraid of he replied, "I don't know, I'm just afraid of the darkness in my room".  I told him that behind the darkness was the same things that were there when it was light. I reassured him he was so safe, and there was nothing bad lurking in those dark spaces of his room. 

He was not comforted. I then recalled a quick conversation that I had overheard Warner having about a scary story a friend had told him at school. Light bulb. Yay. So I said "Hey Warner, does this have anything to do with the story your friend was telling you at school?"I could hardly see his face because it was so hidden behind the blanket hood he was hiding in, but I saw him nod. 

He was rubbing tears out of his eyes.

Me- Warner, can you tell me what he told you?

Warner- No I don't want to think about it anymore, and talking about it will make it worse.

Me- Actually sometimes not talking about it makes it worse. In the darkness of your mind all alone it can grow and get scarier the more you hide and dwell on it. Talking to Dad and I about it can bring it out to the light, and we can speak truth about it and help you work through it. 

Jaron said a few words too, and after a few minutes of gentle coaxing Warner started talking. 

W- My friend Dillan told me a really scary at school. 

I won't tell you the details of the story because there is no need to, but basically the story was about a witch named Bloody Mary and of the things she did to the people in her village. 

At the end of his story his friend assured him that Bloody Mary was alive and looking for people to kill still today.  Note: all of this is pretty normal 7 year old boy behavior I would say. Looking for a reaction from some other gullible soul is their middle name.  

A few hours after Dillan had divulged this shocking tale to Warner they were playing at recess when Warner noticed a sucpicious light flashing from an empty car in the parking lot. I'm not sure if Dillan pointed it out, or whether it was from his own imagination, but somehow Warner had convinced himself that it was Bloody Mary in that car, waiting for him.  

Warner- "I was trying so hard not to cry Mom. So I went and told a recess teacher and she told me it wasn't true, and that the story wasn't true"

Me and Jaron both in different ways then basically said- Warner that is so so scary! I'm so sorry that you have been so afraid all day. I don't blame you for being afraid of the dark, I would be too if I heard a story like that and thought it was true. I'm so sorry Warner. Do you feel like the recess teacher was right, that the story isn't true? 

Warner- No I think the story is true. I know it is Mom. 

Jaron then led Warner through a serious of questions and answers about Bloody Mary with the goal of helping him lead to the logical conclusion of how fake this story was.  He also explained how common it is for kids to tell tales like this, and said they are all false!  

I could tell Warner was still unconvinced. No matter what we would say, this witch was real in his mind. So I thought of a different tactic. The brain is a powerful tool, especially when it is shocked by something horrific like that. It can come up with all sorts of horrible things. So I decided we needed to change the story that his mind was telling him at night as he lays there getting scared. 

Me- Warner, did you listen to what Dad said? 

Warner- Yes

Me- Do you believe him? That Bloody Mary is not real?
Warner- Shook his head.

Me- You still think she's real?

Warner- Nods

Me- What is the very worst fear you have in your head right now about bloody Mary?

Warner- That she is in my room hiding in the dark.

Me- Ok, now when that thought comes to your mind I want you incite someone else into your head. I want you to invite Jesus. I want you to imagine that Jesus is there with you in your room. Can you do that for me?  

Warner- Sure. 

Me- Ok. Thanks. Where do you think Jesus would stand in your room if the witch was there?

W- Right by me.

Me- That's right. Why would he stand by you?

Warner- Because he likes me.

Me- Because he loves you. What do you think he would do as he is standing there between you and the witch?

Warner- He would tell her to be good now, and to stop hurting people.

Me- I think that is exactly right Warner. Do you think he would ever let that witch hurt you if he was standing in your room too? 

Warner- No definitely not. 

Me- We know that Jesus loves His little children, and you are his little child, and he wants you to always be safe and happy. So, the next time this witch comes into your head, I want you to make sure you invite Jesus too. You can do this by reciting some articles of faith, or singing songs, or saying a prayer. You can do this by imaging pictures of him or stories of him, and he will be there. He will be there in your mind and he can help you to feel safe in your head.  I want you to imagine he has his arms around you and he is not going to let that witch hurt you ever. I want you to imagine that hearing him say to the witch "Get lost and never come in Warner's head again!" Can you try that? Can you try really hard to imagine that? 

Warner- Ok. 

Me- What is the cool thing we know about Jesus that is not true about the witch? 

Warner- That Jesus is real. 

Me- That's exactly right. How about the witch?

Warner- Whispers softly. "She's not real".

Me- No she's not. Not even a little. She never was, she never will be. 

I felt really good about this conversation and figured Warner was comforted. I was ready to pat myself and Jaron on the back and call it a night. Jaron earlier as Warner had been telling us the story was listening so well, and whenever Warner would get done speaking he would validate him and then say "Is there anything else Warner".  Warner kept giving us more descriptions this way. I loved Jaron's tactic and was so glad we were both there. 

Well, after we got done helping him through his thoughts, Warner, still hiding behind his blanket a little, and even gnawing on it a little bit, which I've never seen him do said to us "There's something else".

Warner- And it's the scariest part of all, but I can't tell you. I don't want to tell you, because your going to be mad at me. 

We were both so so grateful he opened this conversation up. It would have been so easy for him to just walk away, but there was something else. Something worse. Something bothering him, but he didn't think he could tell us. Of course we did what any parent would do, we promised him we wouldn't be mad and encouraged him to tell us, reminding him that parents are here to love you and help you and you should never keep secrets from them yada yada yada. 

It took several minutes before he finally nervously confessed. 

Warner- Mom, when you were doing violin with Liv in the music room the other day, I was thinking about Bloody Mary, and I just wanted to know if she was real, so I looked her up on the computer. 

Jaron and I immediately glanced at each other, and I'm sure both of us gasped silently. Very silently, because we wanted to be so careful to not scare Warner away from telling us. But we both know the dangers of the inter-webs, and up until now the Brown kids have been unscathed and innocent from it's dangerous. We have filters and safe searches and all sorts of things to protect our computer, but we know it's into enough. We know it's only a matter of time. That was all said in one simple glance between Jaron and I. Like "this is it, it's starting".  

Warner went on.

Warner- I typed in B L O D "cause I didn't realize it had two o's" Y M A R Y

And then her real name popped up at the top of the page, bloody mary with two o's and I pushed the link. 

Me- And what did you see Warner?

Warner- Well at first at the top of the page there were a bunch of pictures of this-uh-just like-this delicious-looking juice.

Me and Jaron- LOL Ah. Bloody Mary. Yes ok, it's a drink. What else did you see Warner?

He covered his head a little tighter with his blanket now, and covered his face with his hands and said

"I don't want to tell you. It is too scary", and then he started to cry. 

Jaron- Did you see a scary picture? 

Warner- Yes! And I can't get it out of my head. It was so scary. It was bloody mary just like my friend described her, but even worse, and now I know she is real. (Bawling now).

Jaron went over to the computer at this point to see what our son had seen, and it was indeed just as horrific as anything you can imagine, and not just for an innocent 7 year old boy whose scariest movie he's ever seen is Despicable Me 2.  It was horrifying to Jaron, who honestly has a pretty high tolerance for scary or violent things. He had goosebumps on his arms. I didn't want to see the picture, because I have a hard time with images and getting them out of my head too, so I took his word for it that it was pretty horrific.  

Poor poor child. He had been holding this scary story in all day, and now this horrific image. Well, images in.  Hollywood is so darn good at creating horrific, satanic, and nightmarish things that even our brains can't come up with look so so real.

Jaron walked over to Warner and scooped him up on his lap and said 

"I'm so sorry you saw that Warner. That is such a scary picture!" 

Me- Warner, thank you so so much for being brave and telling us! I'm so grateful you told us and I want you to know that you didn't mean to do anything wrong and you are not in trouble. We are not mad at all. We are only sad that you had to see that, and sad you have been scared all day holding this in.  You learned a hard lesson today, that the internet has some really scary things on it and we have to get Mom and Dad's help if we ever want to use it.  I'm so glad though again that you told us. I love you so much! I just want you always to be safe and to feel safe. 

Jaron reaffirmed everything I said and gave Warner a big hug too, and we also talked quite a bit about make up and photo editing and how people in the movie industry are really good at creating really scary looking things with those tools.  We reassured Warner that this picture was in every sense of the word fake and that he did not have to worry about Bloody Mary being real ever again. We told him if Dillan brings up any stories like that again just to say that they weren't true and to do something else instead. You never have to take part in something that makes you feel scared or in danger or yucky. Instead go do something that makes you feel good like wall ball or basketball with other friends.   

I then told Warner about Jr Safe Search on google, and before I finished telling him all about it I tried searching bloody mary on the google jr safe search to make sure it blocked the horrific pictures, and low and behold it did not, and up popped the most horrific images I've ever seen in my life. 

There really isn't any totally safe place on internet searches, and some subjects just are best left un-searched. 

I have vivid memories of going through similar things as Warner did this night, but never had I been exposed to such an image as this. The things I was scared of were things like the scary skating monkey guys on the Return to Oz, or the dragon on Sleeping Beauty. It pains me to think how much scarier things are out there and to pains me to think of the things my children are going to have to battle! Ug, but in the end, this was such a sweet and precious experience with Warner and it ended like this.  

Jaron- Warner would it be ok if we said a prayer together?

Warner- Nodded, and finally came out from under the blanket that had become a hood of safety to his sad face.  

He climbed out of Jaron's lap and we all knelt around the little stained and worn adiman that is in our family room.  Jaron prayed.  He thanked heavenly father that Warner told us what was on his mind. And he prayed that Warner would be comforted at night and that the image would get out of his head. He prayed that Warner would feel God's love, and feel safe.  

After he said Amen, he asked Warner if he wanted to say prayer as well. Warner said he did, and he said the sweetest little prayer. Short and sweet, but so sincere. When he got done he looked up at us and said "Mom, I just want to say that I'm grateful I told you". And then he got powdered. (Hoopes term for, feeling slightly bashful about his happiness and trying to hide it in the form of a half smile). 

After Warner divulged what he saw on his internet search, a sweet peace swept over him, and we could see his countenance was looking better. With this off his chest we were able to comfort him, but more importantly the holy ghost was comforting him. We could all feel it's presence there. It was so special to share that experience together that night.

This is life, right here. These moments are what make it. I'm happy I get to be a part of this university called family where we learn so much from each other and grow. In spite of of our many imperfections as parents, it's good to feel like maybe we are doing something right. 

I hope this experience for Warner lays the foundation for open communication with us, and I have a feeling this will not be the last time he has a confession which involves the dark corners of the internet, it's just the nature of the world we live in these days. I'm so glad he ended feeling comforted and good. That's all that matters. 

Sweet, sweet babies

Is there is anything sweeter than cradling a sleepy new born head in the palm of your hand? I'm not sure there is.   

This weekend I got to meet my sweet and darling new niece, Lucy. I spent as much time as I could holding her, and when she fell asleep on me it opened up that happy part of my brain with all of those happy glowing memories of my own sleepy babies.  

Lucy is the fourth child of a beautiful family. Her Momma is busy taking care of a school aged child, a preschooler, and a busy toddler. She's exhausted and has more to do than the day lends time for, yet she's holding her head up high and doing it all like a champ. 

It's always amazing to me how quickly I move into the next phase of my life without hardly looking back. It feels as if it was a life time ago that I roamed around my house like a sleep deprived mummy wreaking of breast milk and baby poop, and trying my best to hold my head up like a champ and figure out what to feed the kids besides cold cereal for the umpteenth time in a row for dinner.

So, I had to take a moment today to look back at these precious babies of mine, and all of the sudden it feels like it was just yesterday. 

Thank you memories. 

Thank you Lucy.