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It has been an awesome weekend, and my heart is full today. We had stake conference this weekend and I feel spiritually filled. I prayed really hard this stake conference that personal prayers would be answered and that I would know how I could be of better service to those around me in my family and in my life.  My prayers were answered, and things were said that felt like they were just for me. 

I'm so grateful for inspired priesthood leaders.  At the adult session of stake conference there were two single sisters who spoke. One was divorced, and the other has never had the opportunity to marry. Both of these sisters were faithful sisters who came from broken and somewhat dysfunctional homes.  Another speaker was a recent convert to the church who was working to put in his mission papers. At the end of the adult session the stake president led a discussion and simply asked the audience what the spirit had taught them that night and if they would be willing to share. One man stood up that was single, and said he felt inspired that he should keep holding on and being faithful, in spite of the fact that he didn't have "the perfect family yet". Another man who had been divorced and inactive for most of his life stood up and talked about how he was able to remarry and was now faithfully active in the church after 21 years of inactivity.  

I share this, because sometimes it's easy to think that everyone in the congregation at church has it all together, and has the perfect family with no problems.  Of course I know this isn't true, but sometimes it really feels like it.  Sitting in conference last night, and hearing these raw stories, was a good reminder that the church is full of imperfect people, from imperfect, and broken homes, striving their best to stay on the path in their own way. 

One recent convert mentioned that the book of Mormon, more than any other book of scripture is a story about families. Not just any family, but about a broken family.  The gospel of Jesus Christ is not for the perfect, but for the imperfect. For the down trodden. For the sinner, the addict,the depressed, and broken hearted. For the divorced. The married. The single. The orphaned. The widowed. Yes it is for the righteous and the good, and the striving, but it is every much as bit for the lost sheep and the rebellious. There truly is a place for everyone here.  All of us have been lost at some point, and can only through the grace of God be found. 

I just felt so touched this weekend, by the raw stories that people shared, and their strong testimonies that have seen them through the rough times. The spirit was so strong, and I'm grateful I got to be a part of it. 

We ended this wonderful weekend off with a trip to the temple with the kids. The weather was perfect. Literally perfect. The gardens were gorgeous. And the spirit on the grounds at the Seattle temple was felt by my kids, who are normally quite lively and active, but on this occasion were quite docile and reverent walking around the grounds.  It felt so peaceful to be there, and I felt so incredibly grateful for this little family of mine, and for the knowledge that our relationship will go on after death. 

Life has it's up's and down's. And this weekend has been all up. 

I wish Jaron was in this picture! 

The Daily Schedule

A copy of the schedule I am leaving Jaron with to help him keep everything straight this week while I'm out of town. Normally this all just swirls around in my head somewhere, and somehow I manage to make it on time to things with every bodies clothes on and faces washed. Actually it really is a small miracle every time we make it out the door without forgetting someone's shoes, or violin, or soccer ball.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to post the schedule I wrote up here for our family history.

Here it is:

Daily Schedule

8:30am-Make lunches pack backpacks.

9:30am- School Starts (we walk out the door at 9:10)

12:30-1:00-Any time after lunch I do story time with Buster and Ruby and Ruby naps

3:38pm-Go get the kids from school. You can let them walk home if it’s easier, or meet them at the gate.

4:00-Snack time for the kids. Don’t skip this. Trust me, they will be much less grumpy if you get them a snack right after school and much happier to do violin practice. They come home starving. See below for suggested snacks. 

4:15pm-Violin practice for Warner and Liv and homework  

Weekly Schedule:

Tuesday,

4:40pm-I get dropped off at airport.

5:15pm- drop little’s off with Carina

6:15-8:30pm- Group lessons (take the drum you’ll be playing)

Wednesday

11:30pm-Late Start so don’t drop them off at 9:30!  

5:15pm- Warner Soccer Practice

Thursday

3:38pm-Talent Show rehearsal right after school until 4:30pm. Meet the kids at the school and bring them their violins. Ask P.E. Teacher if our kids and Zara can try out first at the practice, since you have violin lessons to get to and will have Ruby and Buster there running around. He will be understanding.  Bring Zara home she is sleeping over that day.

4:45pm- Drop kids off at Andrea’s and head to Patty’s

5:30pm- Violin Lesson’s at Patty’s

Friday

2:00pm, Talent Show at the school (Warner and Liv need their violins!)

6:30pm, Night time Talent Show

Saturday

9:40pm- Warner’s Soccer Game Drop little’s off at Jannah’s

Sunday

 9:55am- pick me up from the airport!!

Suggested Meal plan for you:

Tuesday Night: Just eat out, because it's going to be crazy getting me to the airport and getting to group lessons on time. 

Wednesday Night: Spaghetti (we have Italian sausage in the middle drawer. Brown it with some chopped onion and pour spaghetti sauce over it) add some frozen peas and you've got yourself a fine meal that the kids will love.

Thursday Night: Grilled Chicken and Rice with steamed veggie of some sort

Friday Night: Pancake night

Saturday Night: Homeade pizza night. Just buy the dough from winco, throw some sauce and mozzarella cheese on, and let the kids choose their toppings.

Sunday: I’ll be home!

Special Note: When putting Ruby down I always read her a story and sing to her. She usually goes down happily if I spend 15 minutes with her putting her down. The bubble book is her favorite and Baby Boats lullaby. Same for Buster.

I know you don't need any of this, because you are the dad, and if they just eat Oreo and Nuttella sandwiches three times a day and watch movies they will have the time of their lives and somehow survive. 

Today

Jaron's out of town for work all week and I am missing him like crazy. The first day that the husband is gone I always kind of get excited at all the chick flicks I could watch or the projects I can get done with the house all to myself once the kids are down. That's great until I try to turn on a chick flick that I think will be great, only to find out it's totally lame. And then I realize I'm too tired and lazy to start a project after taking care of the kids needs all day, and by 9:00 really I just want to veg and not think anymore. So what do I do when I don't have Mr. Handsome around? I fall asleep to a few episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond. Yep. It's official. I'm a nerd. The truth is, life is way better with the J man around. I realize how much he helps me when he's away, running kids around to places they need to go. Even just providing happy play time with them so I can focus on dinner uninterrupted. And dishes. Ah man, the dishes. He's a good man my man. I'm feeling blessed and missing him tonight. 

SO yesterday was exhausting. I put way too many things on my 'to- do' list. For some reason whenever Jaron is out of town I get this strong urge to re-organize something. Accomplish something big, so that when Jaron comes home he can say "Wow! Look what you accomplished while I was away" as if keeping four kids alive and happy and well isn't enough. Ha. It is. And he knows it is, but I like changing things around. It's almost like a craziness that swoops over me, and I just have to blitz through the clutter and give a room a fresh look. The last time Jaron went out of town, he was smart enough to hide the hammer and nails from me, but don't you worry, I found them. Ha ha.

But really, even if I just picked up the clutter it would look pretty fresh, but sometimes I just want to move things around.  When I'm determined I have been known to hall couches and book shelves by myself up the stairs. I'm telling you, when I'm motivated the incredible hulk comes out of me. 

Anyhoo. So yesterday I rearranged, organized, shopped, and cleaned like a mad woman. All the while taking care of my kids at the lowest level of acceptableness. i.e. lots of tv and chicken nuggets for more than one meal. Don't worry I gave love, and changed diapers somewhere in there. 

But at the end of the day, I was SUPER grumpy, and exhausted when I realized that while I was doing projects over here, projects somewhere else that I normally do all day were piling up in my wake.  Ug. By the time the kids went down I was left with a ton of work still left to do. It felt like I was falling in quick sand and the more I moved, the more I sunk. 

Long story short. Yesterday I put the kids at the bottom of my to do list, and I was cranky and exhausted. Today I put the kids at the top, and I was happy and patient. It's amazing what a little priority change will do to you. It might have helped just smidge too that I was able to actually enjoy the fruits of all my hard labors as well. . . 

So today. 

Today was a great day. After getting the kids up and off to school, and doing the dishes from breakfast, I just sat down and built a lego tower with Buster. Then we played with trains. Ruby climbed all over me, and we played hide and seek. I love playing hide and seek with her, because she gets so excited to crawl around the corner and find me. Her face when she finds me is better than chocolate. The day went on. I didn't get a run or a work out in, but I worked out enough by throwing Ruby in the air and doing squats and jumping jacks spontaneously every now and then. That had to have burned at least 300 calories right? We ran a few errands, had lunch, naps, I did some chores, and budget stuff, and before I new it the older two were home.

We got some violin practicing and snacks in before we took off for soccer practice for Warner. Jaron is the coach of the team, but since he is out of town, another one of the parents took over for him. It was pouring rain, but those excited six year old's didn't even flinch at the big wet drops coming down on their little noses. They were too focused and ready to play ball. 

I let Liv hang out in the car for a minute with the younger two while I walked Warner in the rain, up to his team. I watched for a minute to see how Warner was acclimating to being the first kid in two generations of my family to be in organized sports.  Turned out he was a little spaced off. I mean most six year old's are right? Nah. He was especially spaced off. The coach was trying to get all seven six year olds to make a straight line. He had a line of what they call orange wuzzies lined up about 2 feet apart straight in front of the boys. At the end of the wuzzie line were two cones to indicate a goal.  The kids were supposed to, one by one, do figure 8's with the ball around each wuzzie until they reached the end at which point they kick the soccer ball through the goal.  

Warner was a little lost boy out in the field for quite a few minutes, while all the others were lined up nicely. The coach had to redirect Warner to the line a few times. Warner has great focus and has a really hard time multi-tasking. I'm the opposite, so I can really admire his focus, but in this moment he could have used some of my multi-tasking skills. It was extremly difficult for him to break from his current activity of kicking his soccer ball and go stand in line.  At last though, he did get in line, but since it had taken him so long he was now at the very end. I thought this might be an advntage since then he could see how all the other players did their figure eights and then be ready to go when it was his turn. Nope. Wrong again. All those precious minutes he could have spent watching, learning, growing, preparing, ha, nope, just looking at his feet, kickin his soccer ball. 

Unbenownst to him, the line was gone. It was his turn, but he hadn't a clue. He had not even moved up since the last guy had gone. He was like 10 feet behind where he should have been standing. When the coach called out to him he quickly came to attention, and ran forward so quickly that he slipped in the mud almost immediatly onto his bum. Pink in the cheeks now, and brown on the rear, quickly he regained contact with his ball and began darting forward again. Forward. Faster he ran. So fast he ran straight past all of the wuzzies that he was supposed to be carefully doing figure eights in. He was parellel to the wuzzies and gave one huge kick to his ball and off it went, bounding through the goal and all the way to the other side of the field.  

He had not even attempted the figure eights which was the whole point of the exersize.  He let out a big smile at me before running off to chase down his ball, while his coach and I shook our heads and laughed.  It was not my most proud parenting moment. It was however very comical, and I love him dearly. I admire his focus. And I think one day it will be a great service to him.  He may have not made me proud on the soccer field, but he did give me a good laugh. I was however very proud of him later this evening when he showed me that he had figured out how to play Praise to the Man on his violin simply by listening to it. He's a good boy my Warner Bruce. He's a good boy. 

We had Mcdonald's tonight and cereal last night. Cooking with four children that are hungry and need a practice and homework buddy seriously is a task that no human being can accomplish. Then throw an energetic three year old in there, and a 15 month old that's ready for dinner post-haste. If I was smart I would crock pot something early on, but I'm not so Mcdonald's it was. Yuck. I can still taste those greasy chicken nuggets in my mouth. I'll cook a meal tomorrow. 

Here's some pictures from today. I know this blog is long, but when I look back at my blog books, my absolute favorite blog entries are the ones where I just open up about my day and our happenings. You think you'll never forget them when you're in the moment, but unfortunately you do.  It was a good day. 

Taking silly selfies while Warner avoids wuzzies in he rain

Feeding Ruby. I love her little crossed legs. 

This doesn't even show a tenth of the excitement he has felt about starting soccer on a "Weel team"

It's a good life.

Ruby 15 Months

 I decided to do a spontaneous photo shoot of Ruby right after we got home from running a bunch of errands last week. She really needed a nap, but she looked so cute in the new consignment store find outfit that I had found earlier that day, and the lighting outside was perfect. It had been awhile since I had pulled out the SLR, but I went for it.

If I had one word for Ruby it would be pleasant. She always just has this little soft smile on her face. As you can see, even after running errands, and missing nap time she was still just, well, pleasant. She has been such a great fourth child. So easy going. So happy to be toted along. I'm so grateful for her easy going personality.

 I like to call this one. . . lay off me I'm starving!

Here she is being brave and taking just a few steps away from the tree. I'm glad I captured this, because she doesn't walk yet, even though I think she knows how. She's not going to grow up one second faster than she wants to and I'm OK with that. 

Oh Ruby I love you.

Buster

Man I love this little lad. Especially when I can just stare at his sweet face and it doesn't demand anything back from me. Haha. 

Funny story. After telling Buster to get out of the bath today here is the conversation that ensued: 

Buster- Wait Mom, I just want to do one more thing. 

Me- OK Buster, do one more thing then hop out.

Buster- Actually, how bout two?

Me- Sigh, OK two more things.

Buster- Actually how bout five?

Me- No just two!

Buster, in a gruff voice- Fine! But then the big black ghost’es are gunna come get you Mom, cause your mean, but not me. (pause) cause I’m human.

Here's one more. 

After the kind, and somewhat, I repeat somewhat rotund clerk at value village finished helping me unload my donations out of the van, just as he walked into the building with the last load Buster shouted “Woa! That was a FAT GUY!” I quickly turned around to see if the poor guy had heard. The door he had just walked through was still opened, so I figured he probably did, but hoping for the best I quickly shewed Buster into the car and started speed walking to the drivers seat door. Before I made it out of sight, I hear a faint “Ah, kids will be kids”, and I turned to see our friendly clerk smiling, in our direction. I was soo embarrassed. All I could think of to say was “Your not, really your not”. And then the smile left his face. Ah crud. I was just making it worse. Welp. See ya later kind sir. 

Ugh. So embarrassing.

Creating, I'm converted!

I read a really great talk by Richard G. Scott this week titled "Finding Joy in Life". One of my favorite quotes from the talk was this: 

"Attempt to be creative for the joy it brings. After their noble husbands were called home, Sisters Camilla Kimball, Amelia McConkie, and Helen Richards learned to paint. They not only leave legacies of art, but they will never see a sunset, a face, or a tree the same again. They now perceive subtle nuances of color and form and rejoice in the abounding beauty around them.

Select something like music, dance, sculpture, or poetry. Being creative will help you enjoy life. It engenders a spirit of gratitude. It develops latent talent, sharpens your capacity to reason, to act, and to find purpose in life. It dispels loneliness and heartache. It gives a renewal, a spark of enthusiasm, and zest for life."

A wise older friend of mine, who has raised 7 children, told me that to get through the rough years of when her kids were little and life was constantly a process of undoing all the living that had been done that day, she said "I tried to do something every day that was permanent, like sew, or journal, or make something". 

I thought that was such great advice. And after reading this talk last night, I decided to pull out the BIG Digital SLR, which feels so huge compared to my i-phone now, and do a photo shoot of Ruby. My goal was to capture her sweet, soft expressions, her smooth baby skin, and the light in her eyes. I was a little rusty, but it didn't matter. I created something. Immediately after the photo shoot, I felt that rush of excitement you get, when you just can't wait to look at the photos. It's like Christmas. I knew I had kids to pick up from school, and dinner to make, and kids to get off to music lessons, and bathe, and clean up, but I also knew that once that was done I got to edit photos and swoon over sweet Ruby pictures. It got me through the chaos. 

I love photography for lots of reasons, but my favorite reason is that it makes the moments you love most stand still forever. Ruby is so wiggly these days that she hardly has a moment where she is still, but after she's asleep I can sit and look at these pictures and soak up her sweet face without any interruptions. Also, it doesn't squawk at me, like Ruby sometimes does. 

I love motherhood, accept for when I don't. Sometimes it's really hard. Sometimes it's overwhelming. Sometimes it's love and joy and sweet satisfactions,but for the times that are rough, it feels so great to have a creative outlet that you can look forward to at the end of the day. 

What are your thoughts? What are your creative outlets? 

Church with Ruby

Does not ever look like this, which is why we had to document this peaceful anomaly.